Dating Advice

Written by Australia's best dating coaches

Avoiding Online Dating Disappointment

Sorry but not sorry for the cliché

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Singles Events
online dating mistakes

Online dating can sometimes feel a bit daunting since you’ll never know 100% who you’re talking to or whether their profile is truly accurate. To help prevent these online dating blunders, this article will carefully guide you through this process, saving you time and energy. However, you should keep in mind that there are no quick magic tricks for successful online dating, but only some practical rules to help you find the right person.

1. Don’t put all your eggs into one basket

As the age-old saying goes, you should not invest all your attention into one person– at least not at the beginning. This does not imply that you should date ten different people at once. It also does not mean you should create a dozen dating profiles and select open relationship on your status. Yet, you should consider the possibility that the person who you’ve decided is going to get 100% of your attention might not feel the same way and could very well be juggling multiple dates. In fact, the chances of this occurrence are quite probably in the online dating scene since people can easily access several conversions at once. This is why it’s irresponsible to invest all your energy into one person before the relationship status is official. It’s important to stop and consider whether the other person shares your feelings before jumping forward.

2. Make sure you know the signs

Profile

Having a bad profile is like having a bad resume. Would you hire this person to spend time with them? It’s important to study people’s dating profiles and learn how to read between the lines! For example, if you see loads of spelling mistakes and vague content that is poorly written, you may question that person’s level of commitment to finding genuine love. Also, if you notice any negativity or complaints about the past, you can assume the person may be carrying baggage.

General

Another common sign that should steer you away is if the person is always online. Perhaps, you’ll want to ask yourself why they’re always online and how sincere their intentions are for dating. Quality online daters will usually log on briefly a couple times a day during the week and on weekends, they might not even log on. So, you can assume people who are chronically online may be juggling their options instead of seeking an authentic connection.

Photos

The photo can say a lot about the person’s approach to dating. For instance, a drunken blurry photo or topless beach photo may indicate that the person is not taking online dating seriously. Here are some other factors to watch out for:

1.Old photos that misrepresent the person’s current appearance. There are simple ways to check if this is the case. For instance, if they’re in a photo taken overseas, you can casually ask them when they were there last.

2. Photos that are cropped to reveal just the person’s head may indicate that they’re hiding something.

3. Strange angle selfie photos, especially ones taken from over the head and from an angle. This perspective can give a false impression of the person’s attractiveness.

Two step screen process

There is a simple two-step process for screening potential crazies or frauds. First, you can determine someone’s sanity by engaging in conversation before asking him or her on a date. Then, if you like what you’re learning about the person, you can politely ask if they have more photos: “Hey I was just wondering if you have any more photos? You’ve only got selfless haha”… Chances are if you ask nicely, they will agree! If they become angry or offended by the question, they may be hiding information. This will help you avoid people with fake profiles.

Important!

Watch out for people who get offended easily or are quick to become angry or judgmental, especially in a non-playful way. Remember that friends are meant to make us feel good about ourselves. So, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, block this person fast!

 

3. Ignoring your intuition

Have you ever been on a date only to find out this person is nothing like you imagined? This is probably one the most common problems in online dating because it’s essentially dating in reverse, yes that’s right, online dating is dating in reverse. Usually, when you meet someone, you go on a date or a few, and then slowly start finding out if this person is right for you. However, when you’re dating online, you can talk for as long as a month, fall for the person’s personality and then realize that they’re not for you only after you’ve met them! The problem is that it’s too easy to create a false personality using online dating because users can carefully plan out their replies or Photoshop their pictures. This is why its better to arrange a Skype or phone call before meeting. Ultimately, the better your screening skills become, the better your dating experience will be and the less time you will wasted on sub-par dates. Plus, you can also consider the amount of money you’ll save because multiple dating can be expensive with drinks, transportation and time.

4.Taking it personally

Never lose sleep over an unsuccessful experience. If someone does not feel the same way, that issue is with them and not with you. The reality is that dating is not like buying a dog that loves us regardless– humans are far more complex. Also, the reasons for a failed effort can be endless: maybe they’ve met someone else, maybe you weren’t their match, or maybe you weren’t tall enough or short enough. Who knows? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is being the best possible person you can be, and spread positive energy to those you meet. In the end, if you keep taking everything personally, you’ll just feel frustrated and held back from growing through the dating process.

5. Not being prepared

Part of being a successful dater is being prepared. This means you must avoid ruts like falling into a slum, letting yourself go physically or not feeling stable when signing up for an online dating site. These types of behaviours will leave you feeling vulnerable. As mentioned in our first article, “ 5 steps for dating success”, we discussed personal development. You need to market yourself as a likeable person when entering the wild realm of online dating to fulfil your search for love. Yet, this does not mean you should avoid online dating, but rather you need to ne mentally and emotionally healthy before entering this experience.

6. Do not be “best friends” before you meet

When dating online, you should never jump into a crazy escapade of late night phone calls and constant texts right away. Sometimes when people leap at hyper-speed into the BFF territory, they become shocked and extremely disappointed when they realize they are no longer attracted. Now, there is nothing wrong with connecting with someone before you meet– who knows, it might turn out well. But, if you want to minimize disappointment, you must consider all possibilities. Ask your self, “what if?” and factor in the likelihood that it might not work out. You don’t want to waste your time on a relationship that will never move beyond a friendly partnership.

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