Dating Advice

Written by Australia's best dating coaches

Punching Above your Weight

Make yourself better not your Online Dating profile

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Singles Events


The issue of desirability with online dating can always be a tricky and sometimes awkward conversation. With the pressure to stand out among the masses of profiles, people will often lie on their profile to appear more attractive. This online misconduct can include sprucing-up a physical description or digitally enhancing a display picture with all those fancy mobile filters—all done with the intention of being contacted more. This is just wrong, deceiving and completely pointless! The harsh truth is that lying will not improve your chances of finding a relationship and will ultimately just waste the time and energy of the person who was tricked into pursuing you… Yes, tricked!


Some people believe a lie can be developed with “good intentions” because they are hoping their date will look past a few exaggerated details to see how great and special they are. Wrong! Newsflash– this is not reality—attraction matters and so does lying. So, not only will your date be annoyed, he or she will also be completely creeped-out!


With this in mind, what’s the point of enhancing your profile to get more dates if you’re not genuinely attractive to these people in the first place? If these people are pursuing you based on an initial attraction that isn’t real, the date will likely be short-lived or just plain awkward. Many people report instances where they went on a date through an online dating site, and discovered that that their date lied about height or body type—apparently 5’7 can mean 5’2!? While these accounts seem shallow and harsh, the ugly truth is that you cannot charm someone into liking you after deceiving them online. Not only will they be turned off by your blatant dishonesty, they will also place less trust and credibility into online dating, essentially ruining the whole process for everyone else.


So, instead of presenting yourself differently on your dating profile, you should try to understand why you might feel tempted to do this. If you feel pressured to bend the truth, you might have to start questioning whether you’re implementing all the right strategies to make yourself attractive in real life. Perhaps there are some changes that must be made, so you can feel more confident about your personal attractiveness. This is not to say that you need to fit a cliché or standard of desirability. However, you may want to consider improving some of your assets to make yourself feel like a stronger candidate for online dating.

Ultimately, you want someone to pursue you, while knowing you were being your true self. This way, you’ll know that the attraction is mutual and the whole process is clean-cut and truthful. After all, the most promising start to a relationship is when the first date begins with honesty and nothing less.

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