Dating Advice

Written by Australia's best dating coaches

Social life, interests, passions

Written by
Liya P
Social life, interests and passions in your dating

Romantic relationships can sometimes seem like an utterly complicated maze, the way through which you can never quite figure out. While romance is not always straightforward, things don’t have to be that complicated either. To make it easier on yourself, become more self-confident and attractive, you should know how different aspects of your life influence your desirability and romantic prospects. You may be surprised to learn this, but social life, interests and passions are closely related to your romantic successes! The way you handle those aspects of life can influence your desirability by making a solid impression on others. Read on and find out how to use those components of life to your advantage!

– How social life relates to dating

Social life and romantic prospects have a seemingly obvious relationship. When you have an active social life, you are more likely to meet new, interesting people and thus are more likely to find a suitable new partner. Besides, high sociability levels mean you know an array of people with various interests, so you have more experience in diverse situations. Having entertaining stories to tell will likely make a good impression on potential partners and will therefore increase your chances of entering into a new, exciting relationship.

Of course not everyone can or should be the real-life definition of a social butterfly. While some need more social experiences and have a constant desire to be around people, others prefer spending some alone time and reflecting on their inner world. Neither characteristic is better than the other – the two behavioral styles are simply different! Remember, belonging to one group or the other does not mean you have better or worse chances for successful romantic partnerships! Still, even if you don’t enjoy socializing that much or don’t have that many friends, that does not mean you should not be friendly when meeting someone new. Coming across as positive, upbeat and easy going is a sure way to earn lots of points with any potential partner or new friend! A big smile is always a fantastic way to show the world that you are open to new experiences and relationships. Besides, people who smile often are more memorable and are viewed as more pleasant to be around. However, there is one more very significant aspect of smiling – for a smile to work its charm on others, it has to be genuine, or also called a Duchenne smile, in honor of the scientist who made the distinction between the types of smiling.

Research conducted in the University of Wisconsin examined the smiles of participants upon watching two short movies. The researchers found that when the subjects viewed footage of genuine smiling, they mimicked the action. On top of that, the regions of the brain commonly associated with positive affect fired up! This means that when we see someone smiling genuinely, we reciprocate and experience pleasure. In that regard, smiling and behaving in a positive manner in social situations can make you more desirable and attractive to others, thus enabling you to find new partners with ease!

– Interests and romance

Having interests obviously makes you more fun and attractive to others. After all, who would not want to spend time with someone exciting that has unique hobbies and has lived through exciting experiences? Mastering rare skills can help you stand out from the crowd and create an instantaneous positive impression on the people you meet. Besides, hobbies can open up your world to many fascinating areas of life you never even thought possible! For instance, imagine you decided to learn a new language. Once you were able to carry a simple conversation in that language, you would already have a key in your hand that opens up an exciting new door to travel and world exploration! Now that you know another language you are able to meet new people from different cultures and experience more interesting events. If you don’t have a particular interest in languages – don’t worry! This principle can easily be applied to any hobby.

Apart from making you more distinguishable and pleasant to be around, intersects have another great function – they help you meet suitable partners, with similar likes and dislikes. While many believe that “opposites attracts”, and are probably occasionally right, a number of studies show that the more similarities two people have, the more attracted they are to each other. The University of Manitoba has come up with a collective research paper on 3 previous studies examining the relationship of partner similarities and romantic success. All 3 studies indicate that stable, quality relationships are usually characterized by similarities of values, beliefs and interests between the partners. That does not mean that you will feel best with someone who is just like you. In fact, that would probably be rather boring, but finding a partner with whom you share an interest can propel your relationship.

Last but not least, numerous studies indicate that long-term relationships are happier and more successful when the two partners are able to bond over a common hobby or interest. This is because you are able to connect with your partner and step out of mundane concerns. Sharing a hobby or interest can also increase the romance level in a relationship and help the partners achieve stronger appreciation for each other.

– Passions make you attractive!

Being passionate about something, even if it seems completely silly, can in fact make you far more attractive and desirable! Much like interests, passions have a positive impact on your experience of life and open you up to fascinating new worlds. Though passions and hobbies can do many similar things for you and your attractiveness, passions are much stronger and therefore can influence your behavior and personality much more. Being passionate about something can excite a potential partner as it reveals your fiery, driven side. Don’t be afraid to express excitement about your passions even if they seem utterly unusual – sure, someone might think they are silly, but if you keep them hidden away then you are denying potential partners access to an intriguing and unique side of yourself!

Being friendly and taking the time to cater to your interests and passions can make a huge difference in your love life! Remember though – it is important to stay genuine, otherwise the new people you meet will quickly spot your dishonesty and will likely be put off. A genuine smile and a unique interest will certainly help you stand out from the crowd!

Author: Liya P

University St. Kliment Ohridski
 Master's Degree, Clinical, Counseling and Applied Psychology

2013 – 2015
 University St. Kliment Ohridski
Bachelor of Science (BS), Psychology

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